After Hours

This story is set in the Mind's Eye Society's Accord game, in which the various supernatural entities in the World of Darkness are working together in secret to combat an extra dimensional threat. My character, Rhys, is a Mage of Fate and Time who can speak to city's, in particular New York. This was a writing exercise to test his influences: his allies and contacts. How did he know them, how did their relationships work, what hooks did they have in him? All information in this story is Out of Character unless given permission by me or the Storyteller. All characters and actions are fictitious, no similarities intended. Hope you enjoy. - C

Quarter to four and the last song was singing sweetly into the club. I made it a slow one, a good one, to let the people come out of their adrenaline haze of dancing and partying. It was a signature song of mine to end off with.

Destiny turned her face
Nightmares and fallen shapes
State of dreaming has left me numb

Blue eyes and wandering lips
True lies with fingertips
Hidden tales of forbidden
Love...you left me miserable, miserable, miserable, miserable...

I finished my can of Coke, placing it next to its three other fallen comrades. It was my first gig as a DJ after the Halloween rush. I made it a policy to give myself a month or so off after having to play at so many places, and when I did go back to work, goth venues were off the list until well after the New Year. There is such a thing as overload, and I don't do music that I'm not in the mood to play. And ever since I started actually working with Dylis, Wolf Filth's music leaves a bitter taste in my mouth on the best of days.

Maybe we're just sleepwalkin'.
Maybe we're just sleepwalkin'...

The music faded away, like a dream. "And that's all there is to it tonight, folks. You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here." A call of jeers for the lame pun. "Suffer, mortals. I love you all, now go home and enjoy your hangovers."

Crowds dispersed, as they often did. I grabbed my gear, which thanks to this club actually having a stable DJs booth was merely my playlist laptop. I slapped on my back pack and started making my goodbyes.

"Rhys!"
A lanky man with long blonde hair and a face nearly as long came running up to me. "Rhys!" He repeated. His Scottish burr rolling my name, making it sound more like the traditional Rice and not the anglicized Reese that I preferred.

"Hi Alain," I said. I tried to match the man's enthusiasm. However, the set took it out of me and there was never really any way to match Alain's gleeful charm. "What's up?"
He smiled, he did that a lot. "Some of the guys wanted to know if you wanted to come hang with us. We're planning a ritual and thought you'd make a good match."

I shook my head, "Too pooped to pop." Alain and his buddies were part of the occult fringe. I'd been a part of their rituals before, which were essentially five person raves where they danced, fucked and smoked their ways into perpetual oblivion to alter their perceptions of reality, and therefore the waking world. I liked them, but my ritual orgy days faded when I got a boyfriend...at least until he gave permission.

Alain, clearly disappointed, nodded. "You still working on that book?"

That book was my treatise on urban magic. My blog, the small little thing on the occult as it manifests in cities, had some small following, mostly by people like Alain. "Dribs and drabs here, a few projects got in the way." I ignored the flash of memories of armies of dead things fighting each other on the behest of a bored little godling. "I'll let you know when I finish it."

"Cool," he said. "Oh, remember those guys who came by the pad a while back? The fringe CUT guys?" I nodded. "No one's been able to find them any where."

I resisted a smile. "Church probably got to them, then. Put them in the L. Ron Hubbard 5000 brainwasher and put them back to work." It was an easy lie. Much easier than 'my friends, a werewolf and a half-demon, ripped their faces off and closed off the tear in reality and sanity they opened up.' We don't tell these kinds of things to friends and loved ones.

The occultist laughed, "you know it. I'll tell you if I hear anything."

I nodded and watched my friend part. I repositioned my bag and moved over to the bar. "Whatever soda thing you have back there, I need the caffeine."

"Diet or regular?" the bartender asked.

I eyed him, "Do I look like I'm on a diet?"

He said nothing, and hit the draft for regular soda. I downed it, tasting the sugar and caffeine shoot through. "Ah," I said. "Gracias."

"House," he replied, shaking me off as I grabbed my wallet. "You don't drink much during sets. No point in hitting you up for the driver drinks."

"Appreciated," I said. A few of the bouncers moved in the corner of my eye. I followed them to a booth where a girl had been passed out. If she looked underage, that probably meant she was underage.

"You got a phone back there?" I asked the bartender. He produced a landline from behind the bar. Checking back, the bouncers were talking to the girl, who was answering their questions. Hopefully, her address would be one of them. I punched in the phone number of an old friend. "Hey Tom, it's Rhys. I got a girl here who needs a ride home. Can you get someone you can trust to get her there? I'll consider it pay back for the stick up a while ago."

A few minutes of negotiating with Tom and conferring with the bouncers, and the ride was secured for the disheveled young partygoer. I trusted Tom to not bring in someone who couldn't be trusted in handling the situation like a human being. I also trust him to know what would happen if I found out.

I left shortly after the car pulled away, the girl leaving a lot more relieved and a hell of a lot more sober than before. How did I know that she would be okay?

I asked, of course. Asking about the immediate future of a girl trying to get home was small, but it was important, at least for her and at the most for me.

As I stepped out in to the cold winter of New York City, I felt a sense of satisfaction that was only in part from me. Explaining my connection to the City is difficult. It's instinctive, the City throws you something and you need to make up your mind what that means. That the cab that took the girl hit every green light until they made the turn meant to me that it was going to be okay. If they hit a red light, it may mean nothing, may mean something. May mean everything. New York didn't spoon-feed answers, and it expected those who could speak to it not to be spoon fed.

I walked up through the Village, a part of the City that always felt at war with itself about remaining posh but never too posh. Like you wanted to be a part of it but couldn't, and in many ways shouldn't. My walk lead me into the more real residential spaces of Chelsea, the bars finally closing and the bartenders, bouncers and dancers all going to after hours clubs in some of the seedier holes in the ground. Some went home to sleep before they had to wake up for their second or third jobs.

My footsteps lead me into a diner. It was an older place that didn't even make the attempt to hide that it was a greasy spoon. Fluorescent lighting and too bright paint made it glaring against the orange hue of the streetlit exterior. I took a seat at the counter, noticing a group of brightly dressed people in a corner booth. A further look told me that they were brightly dressed, but barely dressed at that.  Streetworkers on their lunch breaks.
They kept to themselves, and talked together. They looked like a private group. Considering what they did, that wasn't surprising. They were the only ones who knew the things they had to do and were expected of them. They were the only ones who shared in their pain.

As I waited for my pancakes, the door swung open. Four cops, in heavy winter coats, came walking in. The room got still, but not a still as the booth in the corner. The hookers kept their heads down, not even wanting to give probable cause to the police. The police, in turn, didn't seem to notice or care and took a booth in the front.

I didn't pay them much mind, I flipped on my headphones and started playing some music. My pancakes, runny with syrup, didn't last long. If I had my way, I'd have circled them from above and swooped down. I didn't do that, on the grounds that I didn't want to be kicked out of yet another diner.

With my food gone, I threw a few bills down on the counter. The waitress eyed me something fierce. It was clearly too much.

"Next round of coffee for that booth," I gestured to the cops. "And that booth," I gestured to the hookers. "Are on me." Somewhere, I sensed almost a dozen set of eyes hit the back of my neck. They knew I had just gestured about them. It wasn't that large of a diner.

The waitress eyed me, but took the money. I sat there, finishing the remains of a milk shake while blasting my music, while the waitress went off to do another coffee rounds. I kept my back to all of them, but kept my eyes in line to the door.

After a few minutes, the hookers filed out. Most of them looked to me for a second, as if they were waiting for me to say and do anything. When I didn't answer back, they slunk back out into the night. A little while later, the cops followed suit, nodding to me when they left.

I grabbed my things, and fished out another twenty for the tip. The waitress again eyed me. "Why?"

 I shrugged, "We're all New Yorkers."

"That's not an answer." She said.

"It is." I said with a smile. "We're a part of this really great dream that is New York. A shining City where everyone and anything can happen. It's merciless, unforgiving, but also protective of its own. My job, or at least my hobby, is to try and help the City and the people in it."

"And a cup of coffee is supposed to help?" She asked.
I shrugged, "Does it hurt?"


She didn't answer that, she didn't have to. I smiled and walked out. No, it doesn't hurt. It felt good to help, to make the City a bit better. If some day those little bits of luck pay back, I'll take what I get. If not, I'll keep walking. Like the twenty I left on the counter. The blessing I put on it and the diner isn't much, will barely last a day. Maybe it will help out the waitress and maybe the waitress will remember me the next time I come by.

Lyrics from Sleepwalking, by the Chain Gang of 1974

Wyrdcon Companion 2014

Hey guys, I know I've been pretty silent the past two months. Life got really crazy. Of such life-crazy making things is that I've been writing fiction for a website called Enigma Life, a website that caters to those who enjoy art, culture and mystery. So far one story, based on David and Goliath, has been published on their site and another is in the works! So yeah, I'm getting published. I've found writing works better when someone offers to pay you for it. Maybe if people start throwing cash my way, I can finish that goddamned novel I've been working on!

This week marks the 2014 release of the Wyrdcon Companion, an annual academic journal dedicated to role play in its various forms. Last year I got to meet the large core of the editors behind Wyrdcon's yearly journal at the Living Games Conference, namely Aaron Vanek and Sarah Lynne Bowman, both of whom are amazing human beings. During the conference, I got to have a really indepth sit down with Sarah, which included everything from discussions on Carl Jung, academia on the whole, and a shared love/hate relationship with certain theater larp games. In short, if I ever have a spirit journey, the form my guide will take will probably be Sarah...or she'll just show up herself.

During these conversations, I got into the discussion of one of my favorite topics: Mythology. I've loved myths ever since I was a kid. We had talked about larping and how we as regular (well, nominally regular) people are creating myths on a regular basis. I had written about it previously...almost two years ago...jesus. So one thought lead to another and with some heavy prompting by both Sarah and Shoshana Kessock, I started writing Playing In Myth for the Companion.

I had used my previous article as the inspiration, but other than that the paper was it's own creature. A lot of the writing was based on Mythic Imagination, a book written by Joseph Campbell's student, Steven Larsen. Larsen, during his studies of humans creating personal myths for themselves in contemporary times, actually visited and talked to an early 90's larp group about their experiences and what goes in to making their world and the experiences their characters and players go through. I read through the entire book and said "this makes perfect sense and...holy crap, he outright sees larping as a tool of mythmaking, and mythmaking as a tool of developing human psyches".

Now, for those of you who don't know me, allow me to confess something: I hate, with a violent passion, academic papers. I hate them on such a deepseated level that there is a chance my children will have a hatred of them instilled, and so will their children and so on and so forth. Research papers are so effing dry and inanely put together that the only people who can read them are the people who wrote them. It doesn't help that my style of writing, which is so much built on narrative, is anathema to research papers. I have been told, at three different schools, by three different professors for three different projects, that I have a wonderful narrative voice...which is why my paper assignments failed.

So, with that in mind, working on this article for Wyrdcon represented a challenge. My work wasn't going to be peer-reviewed (ie; viciously circled by academics and picked apart to make sure it was accurate in it's measurments) which is a major relief because Sarah and Whitney Beltran are the leading voices for mythology/Jungian aspects in role play and I did not wish to be under the microscope on my first time out. Sarah helped me out along the way, up to and including walking me through places where my biggest weakness: passive voice, kept cropping up. My friend, Sara (yes, this did get confusing) helped be my sounding board and editor for this when I needed it.

Now, it's published, and I'm looking at the document right now and it's surreal seeing words I wrote in a journal I've been reading for two years now. The hell do I do with this?

Celebrate, that's what I'm going to do.

Reading through the document itself, I gravitated straight away to Kevin Burns article on Larp and Psychotherapy. He touched a lot of points that I've experienced myself and also hit some of my favorite theories and practices I picked up in internship. Also, Pete Woodworth's discussion on the subculture of misogyny that has become inflamed in gaming. He speaks to his fellow male gamers eloquently and with experience...which I am grateful for, because every time I try to write something on the subject, I keep devolving into this.
In the end, I don't know where this will take me. I have another idea for next year's journal. Right now, this is tremendous moment for me personally, and I'm just going to celebrate it.

Later,

C


The Wyrdcon Companion Page, including all released copies in .pdf format.

Metatopia 2014

This weekend I went to Metatopia, a Double Exposure convention aimed at professionals and playtesters. I was invited by Phoenix Outlaw Productions, lead by Shoshana Kessock and Josh Harrison, and got to room with them over the weekend. The convention is aimed towards giving games some testing and development with the help of the visiting convention goers. It's designers helping each other out and fans of games getting an early taste of what people are doing. More importantly though, it's game designers hanging out, talking and networking. 

I went to Metatopia for a few reasons. The first was that, if I was going to start developing games and selling my skills as a writer (as well as the reviewing section of this blog) then I needed to get out of there. I wanted to get to know the faces of the people at the core of this thing and for them to get to know me. I also wanted to learn about the culture of the convention, how things played out and what the attitude was going in. One of the reasons I didn't present a game for a Focus Group was because I didn't want to be anxious about the convention AND the games. Now I can just have a freakout about the games next time.

Most importantly, I went because I needed to de-stress. Times are tough here, the outside world was getting to me and I needed to take the time to leave my normal world for some me time. I got that during this convention. It was by far one of the most chilled out and casual conventions I've gone to. Much of this has to do with the fact that everyone who was there wasn't there to necessarily put on a show, as is sometimes the case during big gaming conventions, but to help one another work with one another in developing good games. The energy was different, more relaxed and less full of pretension.

I got the chance to test out three games. The first of this was Aftermath (now referred to after the session as simply 'After...'), a zombie apocalypse larp developed by Ericka Skirpan of In the Moment Productions. It's a great concept, set in WWII where no one won the war and zombies now invade. I've known Ericka for several years, with her being my in and out of character mentor for Mage the Awakening. She and I have similar beliefs when it comes to role play, in that it's an experience with game rules attached. She's also a storyteller for the Massachusetts branch of Dystopia Rising, she knows how to evoke pathos in a larp. I'll be looking forward to what this becomes in the future.

My next game was Dreamdiver, a Fate Core game developed by Josh Harrison of Phoenix Outlaw Productions. It focused on the ability for people to dive into dreams and a conflict between two different groups over the future of the collective unconscious. It was my first time playing a Fate Core game. The game has potential for epic scenes, terrifying visions, and absurd moments that all make sense in the game world. I also have an idea for how this could be spun into a larp, but that's neither here nor there.

The next game was Smoke and Glass, a steampunk fantasy Fate Core game designed by Abigail Corfman of Phoenix Outlaw Production. Smoke and Glass recently had a successful Kickstarter campaign, and production is scheduled for some time in February. We spoke mainly of some of the expansion settings, trying to develop some aspects. It was fun to work on creating settings and creating characters, which is something I'd very much like to do as a freelancer for game companies. I'm looking forward to Smoke and Glass when it comes out, I know of at least one game that will be played in New York when it comes out.

The rest of the weekend was spent on panels. Most of them focused on worldbuilding and creation, picking up small tips and tricks and being surprised that I knew and agreed with a lot of what was being said there. I attended a panel on harassment in gaming lead by Shoshana Kessock and Elsa Henry of Phoenix and Avonelle Wing, one of the heads of Double Exposure itself. While the discussion was focused on the demented 500 pound gorilla that is the Gamergate community (Hello boys, I still think you're scum), it also focused on ableism, and the steps the community wishes to take to combat these problems.

I also went to a panel discussing taboos in gaming, things we aren't comfortable with playing out in gaming, like sex, extreme violence and especially neither of those aimed at children. This lead to a discussion on Sex in general, which is often seen as a taboo whether it is regarded in a positive or negative light. This in turn lead to a discussion about Emma Wieslander's Ars Amandi technique to simulate intimacy between characters during a larp.

The final panel that I went to was a focus on Indie Games and Indie publishing, hosted by Shoshana, Tim Rodriguez and Fred Hicks of Evil Hat Productions. They talked about the struggle of building up your production companies, including having to learn business, working with friends, and the balance of creative and corporate responsibilities and duties. Watching this panel made me realize that I don't want to make my own production company any time soon. I'll be quite happy and quite comfortable freelancing myself until someone wants to adopt a geek.

This panel also marked the first time I've gotten to meet Fred Hicks. I've known of him since I first started reading Jim Butcher books as he's part of Jim's Beta Reader asylum, several of whom I've known for years. Considering the odd coincidences that is my life in regards to larping and the Dresden Files, meeting Fred was definitely something on my geek bucket list.

Most of what I remember though was sitting at the bar or lobby with a bunch of the chairs smushed together and just listening to people talk. It was nice to talk to people when they weren't busy selling themselves or their product or coming down from a post larp high. This was people looking to improve the craft they were in. I like the thought that this community is really looking to improve everyone's game, and not just their own. There aren't many communities that do that, though that may be the cool-aid talking.

I got to speak to the folks at Eschaton Media about their upcoming games for their Chronos line, including Ex Arcana, which focuses on Mages and the resurgence of magic as well as New Dorado, which focuses on dieselpunk Shamans. I am thoroughly excited for both games, and I'm looking forward to the release party for Ex Arcana later this month, which I will be reviewing.

Metatopia helped me to nail down some of the fine points on games, as well as come up with a few others. I'm working on the notes for a Fate Core based game set in Space and focusing on Bounty Hunters. I've the setting down, now to write out the material. I've also come up with a more freeform larp in the style of the Battlestar Galactica larp I saw last July. It's based around a hospital that caters to the supernatural.

Then of course, there is Kensei. People were telling me to bring it up as a focus group. To be honest, I'm at the point where I need it to go through a clinic to get it fleshed out. There is something here that can be fun, that could be something run at conventions. I didn't because I wasn't prepared to. I wanted to know more about Metatopia and the overall vibe of the convention space. If I'm going to have a panic attack, it's going to be about having a panic attack about my game, and not about the convention itself.  I've come to the point where I'm not going to rush the development of Kensei. Kensei is doing a lot, it needs time. When it's done, I want it to come out kicking ass on a literal and figurative level.

So yes, next year I'll be presenting at least one game at Metatopia, possibly more. You'll hear more about em as the time comes. And to close off...

Later,

C

The Larp Census

I recently spoke to Aaron Vanek, founder and developer of Seekers Unlimited, which develops educational larps (or edu-larps) for the purpose of teaching groups of various ages and sizes. I met Aaron at the Living Games Conference this past March where he spoke on Seekers Unlimited. It was during that time he also spoke on another undertaking. Aaron and Ryan Paddy have developed and released The Larp Census. It's goal is simple, to begin to get an understanding of just how many people are in this hobby that we share.

The realm of Larp Academia is an up and coming field, with the likes of Aaron, Sarah Lynne Bowman, and Whitney Beltran being some of the frontrunners I've had the honor to meet here in the United States. One of the questions that keeps coming up is "how many of us are there?" With a definition as fluid as 'live action role play' and with groups that can crop up independently and without any form of notice, it becomes difficult to decide exactly how much of the population considers this activity an aspect of their life. The Census looks to combat that, though they admit that they can't reach everyone. If they succeed, they'll have come up with a fair estimate of how many people larp.

That is one of the key goals, and both Aaron and Ryan believe (as do I) that the answer may surprise people. Larp is has been perceived as an odd hobby, the bottom most level on the geek hierarchy. But that seems to be fading away, as more and more people are trying it out. They also wish to map out what kinds of larps are popular and where they are. Is boffer larping more prevalent in the North Eastern United States while Jeepform larps are more popular on the West Coast? This will help academics in mapping trends, styles that can help in research.

This can also help those burgeoning groups whose businesses are to develop larps to have something to sell to investors and other businesses. It's easy to dismiss something when there are no numbers to back it up. This could help give the community a fair shake in terms of recognition as an art form, a business, and as points of research in fields such as sociology and psychology.

Speaking with Aaron, he states that the Census is currently using 14 different languages to give as many populations the opportunity to take the Census. The results of the census will be shared under Creative Commons. All results will be anonymized to protect the privacy of the individuals taking it. Having taken the Census myself, I can see that Aaron and Ryan have put a lot of thought and consideration into the writing of this material. One of my major problems with censuses is that some of their questions presume a lot of information about the person taking it, their gender, nationality, identifiers. The Census is pretty open and has many 'please give us your description' boxes instead, so while they are looking at information, they want people to comfortably identify themselves instead of having to fit into a box to tick off.

To conclude, if you're reading this, and you haven't taken the Larp Census yet, please do so. Spread the word. This could help the community and culture of larping in many different ways. While we may not see any affect in a while (research takes time) getting started on the right foot will help give us an idea of where we are and where we're going.

Here's the link for the Census: http://larpcensus.org/

Sociopathic Characters in Larps

There was a discussion recently about the portrayal of Sociopathic Characters in larps. The discussion brought about an intense and very well thought out discussion into what the term "Sociopath" means, what the myths and facts are, it's appropriateness in larps, and it's portrayal. I wanted to share my thoughts on the subject, as I think I have a somewhat unique view on the matter.

For the record, the term "Sociopath" is not recognized in most diagnostic circles. The correct term for it is Antisocial Personality Disorder. The disorder is part of a cluster of personality disorders that are often referred to as "Dramatic" or "Emotional" that is marked with a form of egocentrism, where the person suffering from the disorder is unable to put themselves in someone else's position. They perceive the world only through their own mindset and needs. With Narcissism, there is a sense of grandiose thinking of oneself, and a lack of empathy for others, Histrionic have a sense of being the center of attention and will act out in unusual and often excessive ways to seek out that attention, Borderline patients have a black and white view on things, which leads to erratic relationships with others as well as themselves.

Antisocial Personality disorder is, in short, the lack of empathy for other people. There's a degree of narcissism, but not to the same degree as it's own disorder. Those who suffer from ASPD are prone to lying, or manipulation. Many people in the field talk of ASPD sufferers as 'putting on a mask' to get what they need out of the situation. This makes them difficult to treat because 1) most therapies involve building a rapport that they can't bridge most of the time, 2) They will often put on a mask to give the therapist what they want to see and hear and 3) most of those suffering from ASPD can't admit there is something wrong with them. Not won't, but can't. Personality Disorders are a systemic problem with the way that a person perceives themselves and the world around them.

In my time as an intern for a psych ward, I ran into one person who I would consider to have ASPD. They were emotionally cold, had a high opinion of themselves and a low opinion of others, they insulted everyone and lashed out verbally when resisted. It was the lack of caring that they were hurting the other patients that made it so difficult, and it almost became our job to mitigate the damage he was doing to the other patients. They were 14, which put them legally into Conduct Disorder, but the signs were there. This person could not care or be made to care about anyone else but themselves.

It should be noted that this is describing those who are suffering from severe conditions and are not able to function in normal settings. Those who suffer from ASPD and are functioning tend to have a very strong sense of Ethics. They don't act out because they know that it is looked down upon by society and that will be detrimental to them. Unfortunately, Ethics are something that is learned and cultivated, making it difficult for individuals with the disorder to develop.

In fiction, we've seen varying forms of Sociopaths. The grand high example of them all is Hannibal Lector, in both the Anthony Hopkins and Mads Mikkelsen interpretations. Genius Savant with a magnetic personality, charm, and zero empathy for the lives of others. He kills people because they offend him, and their only worth is as food. A Heroic example of a Sociopath is Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock Holmes. While many interpretations of Holmes have him as a socially inept savant, but they've played it up to having being unable to understand the position of others, making his need to solve cases (and his methods of solving them) as a means of solving problems.

His counterpart Moriarty, played by Andrew Scott, mimics this and takes it even further by giving him no compunction to kill people just to taunt Sherlock. Watching these two interact is actually a compelling look at two different people suffering from the same disorder. Sherlock has something of an ethical core, while Moriarty will and can act in a callous and seemingly impulsive manner.

There was a mention of Jayne Cobb from Firefly, played by Adam Baldwin, as being a Sociopath. He is always looking out for himself, willing to harm and sell out others for his needs. I don't think he's a sociopath, though. There are moments throughout the show where he legitimately cares about others. When Kaylee is in the med center holding on to life, he's outside cradling himself worried. He sends money from his jobs to his mother and siblings. He shows regret when Mal confronts him on his back dealings with the Alliance. Jayne isn't a sociopath, he's a mercenary. His concerns are primarily focused on him and his next job. For him, that means being willing and able to hurt and harm. There is a moral core going on with him.

The three examples I mentioned above: Lector, Sherlock, and Moriarty, all have something in common. I kept using the word Savant. Savant syndrome is defined as having high capabilities above and beyond normality but have certain mental deficits. This is often depicted in media as being highly intelligent, but with no morality.

So, the question becomes: "How does this type of character work in a larp?"  Larps are all about collaboration. We're in this together, exchanging our talents and stories with one another. Sociopathic PCs are, by definition, are unable to meet that level of collaboration effectively. Either due to their lack of empathy, their lack of regard for the well being of others, or their penchant for lying and manipulation. Most larps are set in situations where the players are part of a community of some sorts working together for a common goal. Placing someone who is unable to care about the motivations of those around them will most likely put them at odds with the group, possibly coming off as antagonistic. This becomes more exasperated if the PC in question's lack of empathy also includes the use of violence to get what they want. They run the risk of being antagonistic to the other PCs.

Two examples of this. In our Accord game, there were two PCs that could be classified in the Sociopath role. The first of them was a man possessed with a Demon of Wrath. He was a creature of want, need and lashing out when it suited him. He had developed a fixation with one of the other PCs, and while he couldn't do...all that he wanted to do with the PC, he purposefully sought out people who looked like the PC to enact his fantasies. He then displayed this to his infatuation. This is one of a litany of things this PC had done. He was subsequently murdered by other PCs, which despite the rule of "Thou shalt not kill other members of the Accord" it was generally agreed that not a single tear would be shed by most of the people present for his death.

In contrast, there is a Vampire PC currently in play. Highly polite and heavy on the protocol, but is very clearly someone who will kill and has killed graphically and without compunction if he deems it suitable. There's no sense of guilt here, it makes perfect and practical sense that people need to die. The only reason why none of us are killing him in the face is because, as a member of the Accord, he acknowledges that that would be something looked down upon and would be detrimental to his own needs and wants. Highly Ethical, Zero Moral. It's generally agreed that this man is, without a doubt, a sociopath. For the time being though, he's our sociopath.

This brings me to another point. Sociopathic PCs work in games where Sociopathic PCs can be considered protagonists. White Wolf's line of World of Darkness games, both Classic and New lines, are geared towards a dark and cynical world where no matter how bad things are in our current timeline, the Worlds of Darkness are infiinitely worse. Think of a perpetual New York City in the 70's and 80's, or Tim Burton's Gotham City. Everything is polluted, disgusting and cynical. In a dark setting like that, it's conceivably alright to play someone who isn't able to care for the well being of others.

There are, however, some things that should be considered when playing Sociopaths in games. This is not a definitive list, but consider:

Even if it's appropriate in setting, it may not be for the group. You're still working with people, even if there is an antagonistic/non traditional relationship going on. Some people and groups may not want to explore the darker aspects of the world. Discuss this with your STs and groups before introducing this character to game.

Communication At All Times. Considering the manipulative and callous nature sociopathic characters tend to exhibit, it should be clear to all players involved that these scenes may be very dark and distorted. By playing a character that doesn't hold themselves responsible to anyone or any morals, you have to be responsible for not hurting other players. Bleed is a thing, bleed can happen, communicate and check in with all parties out of character to make sure everyone is cool.

Prepare to be the bad guy. You're playing a character that, in a sane and rational world, would be either in jail, seeking medical treatment, or killed. You run the risk of being an Antagonistic PC if not playing one outright. Every person playing an Antagonistic PC should be prepared to accept that their PCs will most likely never see the end of the campaign.

The player of the Possessed PC from earlier knew his character wouldn't make it out, not if anyone was playing anyone with a shred of moral decency. The player of the Vampire PC has made his situation a bit bearable by being a "necessary evil" kind of character, in that we all know that he's a vicious monster, but is productive and helpful. Most of us are aware though that there may come a day where he too will have to attain his karmic retribution.

Don't make this a joke. This is more of my bias than anything else. I'm not a fan of playing mental illness for comedic effect. Personality Disorders are serious. This isn't something that can be turned on or off for them, it can only be managed and control. It's not funny to them, or those who have to live or work with them, don't treat it as such. As the Unwritten Rules of the Camarilla once said, a player can tell a joke, but a player shouldn't be a joke.

This is not for everyone. I'm leaving this for last because I want to put this forward. Playing a character such as this is difficult. How do you play someone who isn't capable of expressing genuine emotions with others? How do you form a frame of reference to be able to do that, being an emotional and empathic being?

I can only speak for myself on this matter. My character, Owen Asteria, was meant to be a sociopathic character. His ethics formed primarily around keeping his family protected and safe (oft times from themselves). Everything else was on the table. He has murdered, lied, and stolen. There is at least one story where he sexually assaulted a rapist. It was left ambiguous why he did this, either because the victim was assaulted in his territory and he found it entirely informal, or because he found the notion of predating the predator to be deeply ironic. It's probably safe to say he did it for both, and because he could.

That was all written, with no role play involved. Role Playing as Owen, though, he has shown a much more moralistic center than he was ever intended to. He has shown mercy to people and has been rather generous. This has more to do with the fact that Craig is responding to these a bit more than Owen. Craig likes people to have a good time role play, whereas Owen would probably kill someone. I've literally had an argument with myself where several PCs have earned the ire of Owen wanting to kill someone and Craig having to go "I'm not big on making people roll new sheets unless they've really had to. Have they really had to?"

So keep that in mind, playing this means committing yourself to some of the darker aspects of whatever game you're playing. It also means that you, as the player, need to be responsible to the people you're playing with. This is about having a fun time, and playing something that can be easily demonized and the closest thing therapists would qualify as 'Evil' is risky. So be cautious and mindful.

**Note: most of the descriptions and definitions here are generalizations for the sake of brevity. The wikipedia articles on Personality Disorders, Antisocial Personality Disorders and Sociopathy are great resources to give an overview of what ASPD and Sociopathy. Research is your friend, larp responsibly.

C

Enough Rope

This last weekend was another game of Vampire The Requiem, where Owen Asteria (played by me) held Court for the Vampires of New York. Wine was served, jokes were made, deals were done and monsters were monsters. Owen's despondency (it's a character played by me, so it's kind of a given) has grown increasingly as more and more people are clearly being manipulated/working with his Avus (vampiric Mentor) and overall Archnemesis in the Liam Neeson Ra's Al Ghul way, Erik Destler (and NPC). Owen has been tortured, mentally and physically by this man in the hopes to train him. Every time Erik's name has been mentioned, Owen goes from sociable to...well...

It's not pretty. The problem was that Destler kept coming in to play, which removed him as a shadowy threat that Owen's been playing counter to the entire time. Owen is Prince to fight Destler's Macciavelli-was-a-Simp machinations. The more his name gets dropped, the more it removes the distant threat. So this month I was convinced that Owen as either going to have to deal with yet one more instance of his Avus. It never happened, or if it did, Owen was never made aware of it. Instead, a rash of art thievery came to a head when one of the thieves was captured. Owen, who himself used to be of the illegal acquistion profession before he was made a Vampire, showed leniency to the thief, which lead to another piece of his past bite him in the ass.

The point of this anecdote is two-fold: Brandon my Storyteller, friend, and writing partner, is a bastard. The second point is that these elements of my story keep coming up because this was stuff I had written into his back story or worked on previously with Brandon. My character keeps getting tortured and prodded mentally and physically because I set the stage for him to be so.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Brandon and I both come from a similar school of writing and characterization: give the characters as much rope as they need to hang themselves with, and then sit back and watch them try to get out. I think we get this from reading Jim Butcher a lot, whose protagonists (hello Harry Dresden) tend to get themselves into trouble through past associations or because of some stupid concept of heroism or assholishness and then have to spend just as much time digging himself out of the hole he was digging to bury the original problem. We both believe that a protagonist that coasts by brings very little tension or drama in to a situation. What's the point of engaging with the character when there is really nothing to make you want to read more?

And that works for me, because I'm someone who needs to be engaged. I'm not the kind of larper who likes to use it as a means of being social. Some people do, and if it works by them, power to em. I tried it and I felt like a tourist. As a native New Yorker, I don't do tourism that well.

Lately, since I've been spamming Star Trek: The Next Generation, I've been thinking about larp in terms of the Holdoeck, especially when people started doing those long simulations like The Big Goodbye, or the Wild West, or some pulpy space opera, or talking to DaVinci in his workshop. Those were larps. And there were a few kinds of way people experienced the way they were in the holodeck. Some people were content with just riding out the ride, like Riker in a juke-joint, just sitting back and enjoying himself. Picard could play Dixon Hill all he wanted and get a kick out of it because he loved following the clues of a mystery and see where it lead, then you have Date who has read all of Arthur Conan Doyle's material and can end a round of Sherlock in seconds the moment the correct prompt is presented...much to the chagrin of everyone else.

I'm a Picard-kind of player. I follow a thread and see where it goes and hope it leads me to a satisfactory ending and not a permanent ending. This thought is why I think I enjoy playing a Fate Mage so much in Awakening. We don't get all of the answers, and while we can affect a lot of things, we still have to deal with the consequences. We take a thread and we follow it and see where it leads and sometimes we have to be clever to follow it and some times to get out of it and figure out where it ends and how it ends.

This was something I had mentioned when I signed up for Rise of Tiburon. I mentioned to Josh Jaffe that I'm the kinda player who needs to be engaged in something or else my brain wanders off and I lose the character. Give my PC something to do and a reason to do something and I can keep character until I collapse. He did this, and I worked my ass off to build a robot with a bunch of other equally engaged lunatics.

My conversation with Brandon on this style of play lead to this discussion: We're playing in a fictional world, and we get to be heroes, monsters, and citizens. Give yourself something to do, give yourself ties and an excuse to go off on your own adventures and drag others with you. Give yourself an excuse to get yourself in trouble and have to deal with the consequences of it. It's not for everyone, some players may not be up for it. Some storytellers may not be up for it either, instead focusing more on just straight up challenges or focus on just the 'tourism' becoming something more. Conversations and encounters by those there to be social will get with one another. Play to your strengths, find storytellers that allow for your strengths.

Meanwhile, I'm sizing up the noose I have for Owen and going "now, how the hell do I get out of this one?"

Later,

C

Dear Neckbeards

To the members of the vocal male gamer contingent,

We have never met before, probably because I value things like hygiene, the open air, and the desire to have conversations in meat space except for on TeH InTERWEBS!!! Regardless of our lack of introduction, I have heard quite a deal of you, and from you, and you. You're really loud, and obnoxious. And Loudly obnoxious and obnoxiously loud.

Anyway, the reason I'm writing you this letter is to convey this message as a fellow member of the gamer community who identifies as male:

Who The Fuck Do You Think You Are?

Over the past few days, I've heard reports from the great Gamer Grapevine about members of the community and slut shaming, fat shaming, disability shaming. I've heard about bullying, insults, trolling, and death threats. Oddly enough, most of this is aimed towards female identifying members of the gaming world. I know! It's weird, right? How dare women do things in our fields, why they should just act like the crumbly rubber dolls in your bedrooms, you lonely fucks.

Listen, I'm not one to beat about the bush, especially that hedge you call a beard. Dude, those things actually go on the chin and cheeks...you're too technologically savvy to think the Amish are in chic. So as someone from the same demographic as you, allow me to say that it makes me sick to my stomach that I am part of the same demographic as you feculent toe jams. Who in the flying fuck declared you the moral police of the gaming world? I don't remember a vote being called. I don't recall putting the sanctity of our community into your Cheetos encrusted hands. Nobody sent up the white smoke and if they did they should have shared that crap. So what fucking right do you have to bash these people down!?

Now, your first reply will be this: Who the fuck am I to moralize over your decisions. To put it simply, for your simple little minds, I'm a member of the community, I'm someone who enjoys discussing games, of playing games. I enjoy going to conventions and seeing something that six years ago I wouldn't imagine: people who shared the same desires I have. Not geeks, not nerds. People. These are people who are making these games in the hopes of making a meager life entertaining their fellow gamers. These are people who are trying to improve the quality of games and the gaming community. And yes, some of them are Women. I know, I was shocked when I first found out. And you know what I did afterwards? Got the fuck over it, especially since it meant seeing something, anything, other than you. These people you are bashing for your amusement are my friends You know the drill, friends are at a premium for those of us who are socially disinclined. My friends are as close to me as family.

And some of you have been openly attacking my family. There are two women I know who have been taunted, bullied and outright had their lives threatened.. I've always seen this community, the Geek Community, the Gaming Community as a gathering of people who never really fit right in growing up. Awkward, enthused, eccentric. This community has been a haven for some of us who never really knew what it felt like to be accepted.

And you're fucking it up for the rest of us. Threats? Harassment?  When did you start thinking the jocks and preppy assholes who tormented you in school had a good model for treating others? Huh? When did calling someone a slut or fat become a way of advancing your status or argument, of being cool in your small, pointless cliques? When did you become the bullies?

I don't fucking get it. Maybe it's because I didn't grow up identifying as a geek until I was out of college when I could find outlets for my geeky self. Maybe it's because ever since I started gaming I have, from the Jedi and Ren Faire circuit, the the Mind's Eye Society; Dystopia Rising and all points around, been surrounded by bold, brilliant and beautiful women. Not girls, not chicks, Women. Oh, I know that word scares you, you feeble minded fanboy. Right now your bowels are in an uproar over how these fake gamer girls this, and how dare that girl at sunday afternoon larp didn't date you that. Maybe if you took some fiber, you'd be able to flush that irritable bowel. Or maybe you'd just be kind enough to flush yourselves.

Honestly, you would think that you'd be happy that the geek world was populated more by women, if nothing else than to dispel that we're all just a bunch of zit having virgins. But maybe that's the problem, that despite the fact that women are here and you still are a virgin that you've got this anger, and you want to lash out. You're in denial, so much so that your feet are soaked through and you are seeing the fucking Pyramids. So much so that when a woman makes an acclaimed game, you have to drag her sexlife -real or perceived- to discredit her. Does it matter if it's a game worthy of the acclaim? You're in so much denial that you would attach someone who are trying to make games accessible to people of disabilities. It's fine if you disagree with them, but at what point does shaming their disabilities -real or perceived- become the point of the argument?

Boys, you're in denial, and it's time to go into the other phases of Grief. You're douchebags. Similar to the preppy jock elitist scum we all dealt with in school, I call them Guy Dudebros, because they all look dress and act alike and in the end are as generic as you can get. You, my misogynistic meatheads,  have henceforth been dubbed Neckbeard Dudebros. You are the unwashed (in some cases, literally. Ew.) masses of the gamer community. You're that cyst on the neck of gamer life that smells of rancid offal and causes harmless yet annoying pain. You contribute nothing, you dedicate your pointless lives in tearing others down from your safe, crusty seats and congratulate yourself like you actually did something. You've done nothing. You've wasted your time and the times of others. Some of us have shit to do, some of which, whether you realize it or not, you actually benefit from.

And, I hate to tell you this, but quite a few of them that do these things aren't men...and I'll tell you a little bit more for free. Most of them...and maybe even all of them, don't frankly care whether you live or die. Maybe if you changed your attitude...or bathed. What smells like onions?

 You need to understand that we as a Communty are up and moving in a new direction. All of us. Gamers everywhere. The internet's got us all connected and people have more access to various forms of gaming and media than they've ever been able to have. We've gone beyond the dungeon crawls in your parents den. We're playing Cards Against Humanity on Google Hangout, doing Panel Discussions in New York with panelists piping in from Denmark on Skype. We've got brilliant developers coming up with game after game and getting them published and moving through Kickstarter and Patreon.

And somewhere, you're not celebrating this. Does it threaten you? Does it scare you that your notions of what it means to be a gamer are wrong?

Good.

Because quite frankly, I'm tired of having to live by your image of being a  male gamer, of being a Male Anything. I'm tired of having to witness grown men leering at teen girls at conventions and shaming them when they don't appreciate their advances. I'm tired of men shaming others as a means of discrediting their work. I don't want to live in your closed minded world. I want the barn door open and all manner of things to fly loose. If you don't want to accept that people -man, woman and all points therein and without- are out there doing things you don't like, than do the world a favor, you mouthbreathing turds. Go back to your lonely little basements and Stay There. 

Some of us just want to play games, you're the ones sucking the fun out of it.