Friday, September 6, 2013

Stepping off the board: dealing with burnout

Last we spoke, I talked about post-con exhaustion. Well, after two weeks, the exhaustion hasn't left. Reading emails to do scenes is like reading mandatory memos from an employer. I look to this game weekend and, if not for the fact I have to run one of the games, I would just sleep through the whole fucking thing.

In short, kids, I'm burned out.

Burn Out, as my psychology lessons threatened to bash into my skull, is when the mind has attained a level of consistent exhaustion through present stressors. In this case, gaming.

Part of dealing with it is understanding the factors that went into it. The con probably didn't help. Don't get me wrong, loved every minute of it, but as I've noted before, I people out damn fast. That, plus a moment that hit one of my triggers (I've gotta do a topic on Triggers and Gaming at some point), just made last week a chore, and has just sucked the fun out of coming in this week.

Another factor are the PCs I'm portraying. Again as I've said before, I'm in the middle of trying to figure out where my PCs for Lost and Requiem are going. I've a plan for my lost PC, but in reality he has no footing to back himself up. This is what I get for making a special fucking snowflake character (I'm one of the only Directionals in play right now, period). He needs time to shore up his own resources and make himself ready, his focus is Honor and War. While it's Honorable to commit to an action, it's stupid to not have your own base of power or your own stores, or soldiers. So he's doing that for the time being in the distance.

My Requiem character was an experiment that did not end well. He was supposed to be a Socio/Political character. Here's the thing: Craig isn't socio/political, and it was boring the fuck out of me. Also, the person with whom my PC was attached to as attache' and bodyguard is GREAT at  the socio/political, so there's a need to alter the dynamic of my PC, but there was no real opening or impetus for it.

And to be frank, I'm 27 years old, single, currently unemployed and LARPing is a hobby that can consume your real life if you let it.

So, when you've come to this point, you do what's natural: You step back, recharge, regroup, plan and come back at a later time. In my hopes, I'd like to come back in December, as it's my third year anniversary with the Club and Live Action Roleplay in general. But I'm not going to stress it, I'll come back when it's both good for me and my characters to come back, they'll still be doing stuff, but they're off the board for now.

I would like to note that this doesn't mean I'll stop blogging. I've still got a game to run and ideas to confront, so the blogging will continue until morale improves. Since this is my morale, the Blogging will just continue.

Later,